I Like Religion, but Not Religious People

Is that possible?  I even thought of becoming a nun for  a time, because I liked the idea of living for God and having some meaning in my life.  But the religious people I've encountered, some were all right, but some were so mean.  I was especially surprised by how bitchy and catty the nuns could be, as well thought of as they are.  They seemed to think they had reached some level of perfection to which all others must conform.  They were constantly trying to "convert" people, in the worst sense.  I guess it almost goes without saying that they were intolerant of gays.  Many of them were totally intolerant of everything that they viewed wrong with other people, and they always made their views known.

What's really upsetting about this, for me, is that it's so totally contrary to legitimate Christianity, as I see it.  Jesus was always a friend to the outcast, and those who had been dumped on and "robbed" by society.  He healed the oppressed, he wasn't an oppressor.  Even though, according to Christian theology, he was literally perfect, he never beat up on people for their petty sins.  He wasn't constantly trying to wrestle people down into some sort of a conversion.  These are the real values in Christianity, and unfortunately I just didn't see it in the religious people I encountered.  But they were very good at making people feel bad.

I guess it can be hard to find kindness anywhere in this world.  That's why it's so disappointing that these Christian/Catholic people who pride themselves on being Christian are so cruel.  Why do they even use the title "Christian"?  For the Catholic hierarchy, I guess the answer is obvious.  They live lives of privileged leisure because of their title of priest or bishop or nun.  They are practically worshipped by so many people for  their title.  In other words, they are hooked up.  All the more reason why they shouldn't be so hard on other people.  The laity have to worry about things like working to pay for their bills, accommodating their families, and generally making a go of life without the institutional support of a multi-billion dollar multi-national.  Many of the parishes are multi-million dollar extravagances, and yet the religious people are still motivated by getting more money from people.  They want money from people who are poorer than themselves.

But do they, at least, give good life guidance?  No.  I got a lot of domineering advice and criticism from them in all the years that I went to Church, but none of it helped me in the least.

I still like the idea of religion, though.  The idea that different people from different backgrounds could come together and be friends for a least one part of the day, as it should be at Church.  Church isn't supposed to be a place of alienation and contempt.  For people who aren't sincere, it should at least be a place where they put on their best selves for at least a moment.  A place of respite for your soul.  A place where everyone's innate human dignity is valued, most especially the outcasts and those who've experienced real hardship in life.  But I never found a Church that truly welcomed me.

Adult Education

I did a search on "adult education" just to see if I could find anything the might inspire, inform, or enlighten me.  It's pretty slim pickin's.  There were a lot of sites devoted to combating adult illiteracy.  I'm pretty sure I'm not illiterate, but neither do I have a degree.  I'm really stuck in this hard to define position.  Though I don't have a lot of formal education, I have, in some sense, been schooled by life, and through independent study.  The classroom isn't the only place you can learn.

I did a search on "adult education blog" to see if anyone else had shared their experiences as an adult student.  Nope.  Not that I could find, anyway.  It looks like I'm either totally out of my element, or blazing a new trail.  I think I like the thought of trailblazer better.

I do think I will have quite a fish-out-of-water experience at the community college.  They don't get enough adult students to have a separate school for "non-traditional" students, like me.  At the class registration, there was only one other adult there that I noticed out of about twenty students.  I hope there are at least a few other adults in the classes I've signed up to take.  I deliberately signed up for night classes when I could, because I figured adults were more likely to take those classes.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the prospect of what I'm doing, and think I should just give up.  But, of course, I realize that the longer I wait, the older I get, and the more awkward it will be.  When I was in my twenties, I already thought I was too old for college.  I tried to go about building a life without a degree.  It almost worked, but not quite.  And now I realize if I had done it then, it would be over with.  I'd already have a degree, and it would have been a lot less awkward.  Realizing that helps me stay on course.

The University of Pennsylvania is my real goal, though.  If I can get through the awkwardness of the community college, then I can arrive safely at the University of Pennsylvania in their school that  is specifically for adults and other non-traditional students.  I'm pretty sure it will be a better social experience for me.

Less than a month to go before classes start.

The Birthers

I love a good conspiracy theory as much as anyone.  But, unfortunately, in this case, the facts overwhelmingly prove that President Obama was born in Hawaii.  It seems still that nothing will stop the birther movement, which claims that the president was born outside of the US.  Even though I don't agree with them, I find them good for entertainment.  How much time and energy will they devote to this futile claim?  And is this the best they can do against the president?  Do they have any policy issues with which to critique him?  In a way, they make him seem like a better president than he is.  If the worst thing he's ever done as president is being born outside the US, then he's a pretty good president.  Realistically, though, if they want to really nail him, they'll have to get him on policy issues (or maybe an affair).  Or are conventional approaches like that just too difficult for them?  Sometimes, fiction is stranger than truth.

Healthy America

"Not french fries too!"  I thought as I read the latest headline on how health conscious Americans are becoming.  In the past thirty years or so, Americans have become increasingly health conscious at the same time obesity is on the rise.  How can this be?  How can such healthy Americans be so overweight, and have so many health problems?  And why are they trying to get rid of french fries too?

As a committed smoker, these health trends have really affected me personally.  It had been years since I had taken the train.  But I needed to go to Philadelphia so I found myself back at the train station, like good old times.  As usual, since I was outdoors, not inside the train, I lit up a cigarette.  I got a few nasty looks from people.  That wasn't too unusual considering how health conscious and perfect Americans have become.  I was smoking away when I noticed a sign across the train tracks at the other side of the train station.  It was a "no smoking" sign.  Outdoors?!  I could understand no smoking inside a claustrophobia inducing enclosed space like a train, but outdoors?!  I looked around to see if there were any no smoking signs on my half of the train station.  Indeed there were.  SUVs and diesel trucks and many other pollutants are allowed to put untold filth into the environment, but my little cigarette is an offense?  But I had already lit up, so I decided to finish.  On the train ride, despite the no smoking signs outdoors, I noticed one brave soul who was smoking anyway.  A military man.  Someone who still had his human dignity intact.  God Bless America.

So major chemical dumps, nuclear power plants and many other much more dangerous pollutants are tolerated while smoking and french fries are out the door.  What sense does this country make?  In California it's even worse and more nonsensical.  Smoking is barely tolerated, all the while they're trying to make pot legal.  Pot is undoubtedly worse for your health than cigarettes.  But even pot smokers are prejudiced against cigarette smokers.  Being against smokers is truly the last acceptable prejudice.

In 10...20 years we can expect more insane rules that regulate unpopular people to death while big corporations do whatever they want.  And health conscious Americans will continue to get even fatter and more unhealthy.  As for me, I'll stick with my french fries and cigarettes so long as I can.  Everything in moderation.

Happy Good Friday

So today is Good Friday.  It's a celebration of the day that Jesus Christ was crucified.  How can that possibly be good, you might ask.  Well, it's because of his crucifixion, his glorification of the Father, that Christian Salvation was to enter the world.  And it was only after his crucifixion that we could celebrate his resurrection on Easter Sunday.

Still, sometimes, even though I know how the story goes and what it's supposed to mean, I don't know how these things are relevant to me.  I'm glad for whatever meaning and joy people can find in the Easter season, but death is just sad to me.  When you've lost someone who's really close to you, you know how much it hurts.  Perhaps if everyone's loved one were resurrected after death, it wouldn't seem so bad.

I've never been a very good Christian.  I've tried, but I've always tried to really get at the deeper meaning of these things and find myself alone in doing so.

There is no Mass said on Good Friday.  It's the only day of the year that there is no Mass said.  The reason for this is that Good Friday is the day of Crucifixion--prior to the Resurrection.  It's the day of the sacrifice.  The Perfect sacrifice.  And only after that can the Mass be celebrated.

So, anyway, Happy Good Friday.  Hope it has meaning for you.

Affordable Care Act the Beginning, Not the End of Health Care Reform

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act that passed in 2010, though it seemed huge, was merely a baby step in the right direction.

And all the while this very minimal progress has been made, certain Republicans want to dash it to bits with their budget proposals.

Health Care, as other countries have recognized, is a basic necessity that should be available to everyone.  It is not something that should be solely motivated by profit, which creates so many problems.  If anyone in congress wants to deprive anyone of health insurance, they really need to start with themselves.  If they were on the receiving end of the budget penalties, then they would realize why it matters.  There are real people behind these bills, and I hope that Congress doesn't forget that.

They're Rich and Beautiful, and They Have Problems Too

Catherine Zeta-Jones recently went public with her diagnosis of Bipolar II.  It's good of her to do that.  Hopefully it will help to educate the public about mental illness, and help to eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness.  One of the reasons why she sought treatment was because she needed to go back to work.  Untreated, she wouldn't have been able to do that.  That is one of the most misunderstood problems with mental illness--the inability to work.  It's easier to think that the mentally ill are just lazy, and that's why they won't work, rather than can't work.  When someone like Catherine Zeta-Jones comes out publicly with her struggles, it can help the world see that mental illness isn't the choice of the afflicted, but a real cross to bear that deserves understanding and compassion, rather than contempt and cruel judgement.

Lent

Lent is supposed to be a time of reflection, and renewed appreciation for God's grace in our lives.  A grace might be something like being healthy, where others are sick.  Or being intelligent.  Even intelligent enough to be a scientist with no regard for religion.  It's also a time for penance.  A time to recognize our own failings, always with the hope of the Easter resurrection.  I think one of the purposes in giving something up for Lent is indeed to feel deprived of something that we like.  If we feel deprived by our own choice we might develop a greater empathy for those who are deprived through no real fault of their own.  Mother Teresa said to "give until it hurts."  So that  "we know how 'they' feel."  Mother Teresa's religious order, by the way, rakes in hundreds of millions of dollars, so she didn't mean it too literally.  Anyway, as much as it hurts to go without by free personal choice, it hurts even more to suffer unnecessarily through the choices of other people.  The Lenten spirit might somehow give us a greater compassion and empathy for our fellow human beings.  And a greater healing for those who suffer unnecessarily.

ABC Soaps Being Cancelled in Favor of Reality Shows

I'll admit, it's been about fifteen years since I've really watched a soap opera.  But that doesn't mean I didn't like having them around.  It's not that I watched other shows during that time frame.  I just watched less TV on the whole.  But these soaps were special, and so much a part of the American TV landscape.  Reality shows, on the other hand, are everywhere now, and in no way special.  They're forgettable, and I can't imagine developing an attachment to them like I did the soaps.  There will undoubtedly be a backlash against this move by ABC.  But will it be enough to save these soaps from coming to a certain end?  I kind of hope so, but I kind of doubt it.

Soup Kitchen

I once volunteered at a convent for four years, and among other things, I helped out at the soup kitchen.  It's amazing to think that in the US there are people who would go without food were it not for the soup kitchens and food pantries.  An Indian woman who volunteered there could barely believe it.  And she told her friends back in India that there was real poverty in the US.  They absolutely refused to believe her.  Her friends in India were absolutely convinced that EVERYONE in the US was wealthy and well-educated.  This is a country that is sold to the world as a land of opportunity and a democracy--a land of bounty for all.  And yet there are thousands of soup kitchens and shelters throughout the country that aren't even enough to deal with the pressing needs.  Why is that?

The economy is supposedly rebounding, but one of the things that politicians don't talk about is how they fudge the numbers.  In order to get a lower unemployment rating, they kick people off of the unemployment dole.  That obviously isn't a real cure for unemployment.  What other numbers are they fudging simply to make the country look better?  So you end up with this disparity between the image of the US throughout the world, and the truth of what is really going on in this country.  Meanwhile, millions of Americans are really suffering.  And not enough is being done, in part because of this need to project a good image.

So why did I stop doing my part?  I quite liked volunteering at soup kitchen when I did it, for the most part.  Some of the people who went there were just regular, decent people who had fallen on hard times.  There were a few people who were quite rude and hardened.  I tried to always ignore the rudeness and attributed it to the hard lives that they had led.  Many were prostitutes or drug addicts.  Thank God for the soup kitchens and shelters that are able to offer a small plate of hope to people who had been pushed so far down in society.  In a lot of ways, the nuns were more difficult for me to deal with.  They were supposed to know better.  So when they were rude to me, it was much more difficult to deal with.  I guess it just sort of fizzled.  I did it for a time, and then it was time to move on to other things.